Doing grown-up stuff is a MASSIVE pain in the arse, is it not? In the last two weeks I have had to sort out my driver’s license, which was due to expire on the 31st August, have all the brown spots burnt off my pale Irish skin by the dermatologist, and go for a proper eye exam and get new glasses. Teeth cleaning is booked for September and at some point I must have my lady bits looked at, not to mention having a jolly colonoscopy.
For the driver’s I gave up trying to book online and employed the services of a man called Ricky Miranda who is based in Krugersdorp. It did give me the heebie-jeebies to head off in that direction after watching Devilsdorp, I was expecting Satanists on every corner (spoiler alert: there were no Satanists.) Not a whiff of the occult in sight, but I did find a clean and orderly license office where I could renew my license in relative peace without being set upon by ten hustlers trying to extort money out of me. The people were so damn polite and friendly, and the loo was clean and EVEN had loo paper. Yes, I was amazed.
When I arrived, I could not understand where the security guard was directing me (bloody masks – I only understand about 25% of what everyone’s saying) so I immediately went and parked in the staff parking (like the Karen that I am). This led to me making a new friend called Mike who took me into the building and showed me where to get a form. I went back to my car to fill it in, we chatted about our kids, he offered to buy my car, I told him not to even consider it as you have to take out a second mortgage every time you fill it up. In the midst of our lovely chat, the security guard sidled up and apologized for interrupting and politely directed me to the correct parking area.
AND THERE WAS ACTUALLY PARKING!!
Then my guy, Ricky – who is like a minor celeb in the place – arrived and I got whisked through to do fingerprints and take a photo (I did request a nice filter from Aus’Maria, time will tell). After that I went and waited outside for my temporary license (do bring a hat, it gets a bit hot in the sun). The whole process took about forty-five minutes although it did take fifty minutes to get there – with no traffic.
Ricky charged me six hundred and fifty SA ronts to arrange said appointment (including my temporary license) apparently I got a discount for being old, he usually charges seven hundred and eighty SA ronts. He also has someone who collects the license for you for a smallanyana fee of two hundred SA ronts.
I thought this whole paying someone to get your license was this illicit-drug-deal-envelopes-of-cash kinda thang. No, sorry to disappoint, it’s all above board and very, VERY worth it. You need to get photos done before you go, take a copy of your ID and have an eye test. The optometrist told me that I had passed my eye test – just – and advised the husband not to let me drive at night until I have my new glasses which I didn’t think expressed an ENORMOUS amount of confidence in my ability to see.
Covid has given me a brilliant excuse not to do all these admin-y type things that I loathe but now that I am a #doublevaxxedkween, I have to pull myself towards myself and get on with it. I am hashtag blessed because the husband takes care of a lot of this stuff but sadly there are some things – like pap smears and boob exams – that I really have to do myself (if I could send my cervix off with the queue-for-you peeps for a check-up, I totally would.) I’m the kind of person that just wants to work 12-13 hours a day chatting to my imaginary friends and doesn’t want to have to deal too much with the real world.
It’s enough that I have to think about what we’re going to be having for dinner every night of the week (GROOOOOOOAAAAAAN!)
Book recommendations: I thoroughly enjoyed Penny Haw’s debut novel for adults called The Wilderness Between Us. Set on a hike in Tsitsikamma, I was riveted by Faye’s journey of discovery and wanted to give her husband, Derek (who reminded me of several toxic men of my acquaintance) a tight slap. Great tension, and evocative writing that made me want to go do outdoorsy, camping type things (I do not camp), I thought it was a fab read.
I also gobbled up The View Was Exhausting by Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta. Recommended by fave, Marian Keyes, this novel about a British-Indian woman making it in Hollywood seems to be light and fluffy but hides many truths about social media and the image we present to the world along with how POC are treated by the entertainment industry. I highly recommend it.
Film recommendations: we went to see Free Guy at Hyde Park. I lurrrrve Ryan Reynolds’ dry sense of humour plus he is VERY easy on the eye, the movie was a lot of fun and it’s great to loll around on those la-Z-boy seats in the cinema. We also watched The Map of Tiny, Perfect Things on Amazon Prime (no, I am still not paying for it, the husband got a freebie). This is another Groundhog Day type of movie. Great script and performances and sooooooo poignant, but I do have an issue with both of these movies.
Please, please can we move away from the protag having a black BFF? Cast a POC as one of the leads and if you’re worried about cultural appropriation, hire a black writer so that the dialogue is authentic. But no more black best friends, it really does remind me of the fat, funny, best friend trope. Enough already.
On the #allpfizeredup front, I was very thrilled that the 18-34’s can now go for their vaccines. My son is booked for today. Hooray! Have a great week everyone, happy reading! xxx
