I am writing this on our 29th Wedding Anniversary. Yes, contrary to popular belief, sometimes the man still buys the cow even when he can get the milk for free. (I am the cow in this scenario, dear reader). Although, besides my womanly wiles, I did offer the husband the prospect of dual citizenship which is apparently the reason he married me. This is what he says, but he really married me for my family. My family LOVE him and he is still in love with them after 34 years. It’s adorable.
You’d think I’d have reams of relationship advice after all these years, but I really only have one biggie:
COMMUNICATE with each other.
This seems like a bit of a buzz kill and you’d really like your beloved to read your mind like all those mediums on Tiktok. Alas, but they can’t, dear reader. Particularly if your beloved is a boy person of the heterosexual persuasion, then they really, really can’t. They barely remember what you said 20 minutes ago so they need pointers, lists and things spelt out to them in large letters. Because underneath all those thoughts of rugby are indeed more thoughts of rugby.
I can already hear all the peoples coming for me telling me how wrong I am. Remember I am speaking of my experience here, dear angry people, if your experience is different and your beloved who actually plays for the Springboks and therefore is entitled to think quite a bit about rugby, can read your mind better than a Tiktok medium and is not shagging the dietician or physio, then you are truly hashtag blessed.
I realised that my beloved needed pointers after he bought me a hairdryer and hot brush set for one birthday or Christmas many moons ago. Why was I upset? I had a buzz cut at the time. After that I became A LOT more specific about what I wanted as a gift. That is not to say he has not surprised me with some truly gorgeous gifts. The man has got a good eye that through sheer fear he has learnt to apply and he’s inherited his mother’s knack when it comes to shopping.
The lastborn is also a shopper par excellence and takes the biscuit when it comes to specificity around gifts. Her birthday is in January so each year she sends us a list that encompasses both celebrations. This year, Father Christmas/the Birthday Fairy received an eleven page presentation with illustrations and notes on sizes and where to source the particular items. The firstborn on the other hand sent us a list that had three things on it.
I think the thing about being together for so long is that presents don’t have the same meaning as when you are younger and cry bitterly when you receive a hairdryer and hot brush set because DOES THIS MAN EVEN KNOW ME AT ALL? DOES HE SEE ME? He does, dear reader, it’s just that it was the Curry Cup Final. Priorities.
I am making this up, I have no idea what rugby tournament was on at the time.
The cliché that as you get older the things you want cannot be bought is so, so true. Particularly after three years of a pandemic. The things that make me happy beyond any gifts are that my Firstborn is home for Christmas and I will have both my chickens under one roof.
That we will get to have a family Christmas celebration with my siblings (last year our Christmas lunch was cancelled due to covid.) That on Friday we will put up our Christmas decorations and on Saturday morning we will rush off and go and fetch our real Christmas Tree https://realchristmastrees.co.za/ and this year I am getting two of them because why the hell not?
People keep asking us if we’re going away and we are not because most of what I want is right here. Obvs it would be nice if Joburg had a beach but you can’t have everything. This was our other realisation this Christmas. Because our kids are no longer in school, we don’t have to rush off to the beach in December and pay a fortune for a broom cupboard in Plett.
I also don’t have to kill myself trying to get the Christmas shopping done before we go away whilst simultaneously finishing eleventy-twelve billion scripts and completing the edits on my memoir. And all this without killing a young writer as an example to other writers WHO HAND THEIR WORK IN LATE and leave me to format their scripts. Yes, young writer I am talking to you. Be afraid.
This IS a very stressful time of year which is why yesterday I said to my beloved, “Please let’s cancel lunch tomorrow, I have so much work to do it’s just going to stress me out having to go for lunch.” And that is why I am writing this blog on a Sunday on my wedding anniversary. Because I know that just now when there is loadshedding, we will walk down and get a cup of coffee from Croft & Co and go sit in the park and chat and perhaps later we will pop down to our local, The Blind Tiger for a drink and it will be perfect.
I have no film and tv recommendations, but I do have a theatre one: the Olivier Award nominated Cruise is on at The Theatre Linden (which is a fab venue). It’s described as an ‘emotional and hilarious ode to gay culture in London in the 80s’ and it’s all that and more. Directed by Josh Lindberg, it stars Daniel Geddes who delivers a funny, emotional and energetic performance that was frankly quite awe-inspiring. Thank you, Collette Dawson for inviting us. It is only on until Sunday so HURRY if you want to see it. Book here: https://bit.ly/3HrYGT7.
Book recommendation:
This is supposedly a book blog but I have been so busy I have read jackshit. However, Chasing Marian is out internationally. You can buy the ebook here:
Amazon US: https://bit.ly/3Hmxhlf
Amazon UK: https://bit.ly/3VMUzW2
Amazon CA: https://bit.ly/3Y9JlfF
Kobo: https://bit.ly/3Yd2MEC
That is my shameless book recommendation for this week. Happy Reading! xxx