Around this time two years ago, the first Covid case was reported in South Africa. Now that we have finally had the first few nights without any Covid deaths reported, we seem to be in the recovery phase of the pandemic. However, sanitizing and wearing masks has become such a part of our lives that I sometimes do a double take when I see actors in a TV show going around sans mask and want to start shouting at the TV (just like my mother during the Bold and the Beautiful).
As we went to the shops over the weekend, the husband said to me, “remember how people thought we were crazy for wearing masks two years ago?” I do and I also remember several nasty arguments on the socials over masks which caused me to go into a frenzy of muting and blocking.
Have you noticed the same thing now over the Ukraine invasion? People who used to be friends on Twitter having not-very-constructive arguments over what SA should do. This is what I hate about social media, the binary thinking and the inability to have a proper discussion.
Life is complex and many things can be true at once, for example:
- Russia should not be invading Ukraine
- The racism shown to black and brown people trying to escape Ukraine is appalling. Why should they care about Ukraine after how they’ve been treated?
- The Ukrainians have shown unbelievable courage
- President Zelenskyy is HOT and it’s fun to perv over him (and/or his hot wife, Olena Zelenska)
- Perving over Pres Zelenskyy (and/or his hot wife, Olena Zelenska) in the middle of a war is inappropriate
- White people care waaaaaaay more about Ukraine than we do about Syria
- SA owes Russia a shit-ton of cash and therefore we have to STFU no matter what we think
ALL OF THESE THINGS CAN BE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME.
And the one does not cancel out the other.
Also, PSA: people want you to get aerated about things on the socials because more clicks = more advertising revenue. Stop letting them make money out of you.
I hope that if we examine our reaction to the atrocities in Ukraine it leads us to greater compassion towards what’s happening in Syria and Palestine and Yemen and, and, and… Although the cynical part of me, dear reader, does suspect that given a few weeks of this Ukraine crisis, we won’t be paying much attention to it either.
We live in a time of uncertainty and upheaval and the older I get, the more I realise that I know nothing or at least not very much, I seemed to be much cleverer in my early twenties. Things I seemed so certain of then, I see crumbling around me, it’s not a pleasant feeling, dear reader. I am hoping that all this searching leads to a fantastic period of spiritual/intellectual growth (or at the very least a good book/script). Perhaps, it will lead all of us to a place of greater humility and compassion which can only be a good thing.
This leads me to my next point: my sober curious journey. I am coming to the end of my year of sober curiosity and I have now started having the odd glass of wine/champagne.
This is what I have learnt so far:
- That the reason none of the books I read resonated fully with me is because I am a BINGE DRINKER, I am not physically addicted to alcohol
- My problem is not day-to-day drinking, it is social occasions
- HOWEVER, if I drink daily I build up tolerance which makes me more susceptible to drinking too much at social occasions
- That the weekly allowance of 7 units is not a huge amount if you attend two or three social functions in a week so you have to police this
- That abstinence is easier than moderation so it’s not a bad idea to avoid alcohol at very boozy functions
The one chap I follow on Tiktok calls moderation ‘denial’. Dear reader, perhaps he is right and I am in denial. Who knows? Like I said, I am not sure of much anymore, I guess time will tell.
Whilst I am enjoying my denial, I would like to recommend a lovely, light MCC sparkling wine from Woolies. So delish and really helpful if you’re trying to moderate/cut down. I did try the light red wine, it tasted like cat’s wee, but I suspect the light white wine is better.
There are a couple of things I AM sure of:
- War is terrible and a complete waste of human lives. Nobody wins
- Perhaps we should stop fighting each other and worry a little more about climate change
- I don’t want any more Ukrainians or Russians or Syrians or frankly anyone else to be killed
- There is already enough suffering in the world without us adding to it
And speaking of a terrible, senseless death…the coffee guy, Max Moyo from the Son’s prep school was killed last week in a robbery gone wrong. He was so brilliant with all the kids (and with us caffeine addicts needing our morning fix). I really cannot emphasise enough what a kind, gentle, just lovely person he was. I am gutted about his murder and I send my deepest condolences to his family and friends and all those who loved him. His death is a terrible, terrible loss. If you would like to help his family, you can do so here: https://www.backabuddy.co.za/max-moyo
Film/TV recommendations:
Started watching Pieces of Her on Netflix, based on the Karin Slaughter novel and with the ever fabulous Toni Collette. This limited drama series started off quite brilliantly but then some nasty exposition in the second episode – the bit where she goes to the bar and picks up the stranger – you know the bit I mean – yes, well that broke our suspension of disbelief and the husband and I did both indulge in some enthusiastic eye-rolling at that point. We are still watching it because we HAVE TO KNOW what happens, but yes, the quality of the show is uneven. I also started watching the thing about the bad room-mates. Lawd, but that first gogo was A PIECE OF WORK. Riveting stuff.
Book recommendations:
I was sent some delicious books by Helen Holyoake and Exclusive Books last week. Am half-way through Black Cake which I am LOVING. We have also started preparing for the Kingsmead Book Fair #KBF22 which I am BEYOND excited about.
I know that it almost seems inappropriate to be promoting books while the world is going to hell in a handbasket. But the truth is, dear readers, we need stories now more than ever. To escape from the horrors around us and also to teach us compassion and empathy.
If you feel like you need an escape, our book launch for Chasing Marian is next week. There will lots of fun and laughter and hugs for those who need them, please join us.
