It’s been THAT kind of week, where the lamey in my butt cheek did not get better and walking and yoga stretches couldn’t fix it so I needed a Voltarin suppository (I became WORRYINGLY fond of these after childbirth) undignified but effective and EVEN WORSE – after a Windows update on my laptop, suddenly my Outlook and Word were having a group hissy fit and required me to sign in every time I started up my computer.
Yes. Every Single Time.
Which then led to my one email account not working at all. I have had three people trying to fix it, finally I turned to my brother for help and he sent one of his trusty lieutenants to sort it out for me. Shout out to Lucas Langa from Power Business Systems!
It is important to have someone you trust fixing your computer. You’d think that would be a given, right?
Let me tell you a funny story about my last laptop fucking out basically at this time of year three years ago. I paid a dodgy dude six grand to fix it – no, I had no idea he was dodgy, I just had deadlines as per usual and was desperate. Plot twist: dodgy dude, after assuring me I would get three more years out of said laptop, did not manage to sort it out and when my husband refused to pay him, weird things started happening on my computer – like very important emails from my agent would never reach me. Husband and dodgy dude eventually came to some sort of agreement (i.e. the husband had to pay the thieving bastard) but the computer gave up the ghost three days later and I had to buy a new one anyway.
These things ALWAYS happen when I am super busy (as opposed to just busy).
This latest blip occurred in a week where I had four scripts to write. Yes, you read that correctly. I thought I was dealing with it reasonably well until I saw a patch of cat vomit on the patio. Dried cat vomit which meant nobody had BLOODY WELL BOTHERED TO CLEAN IT UP. It was the final straw, I had to go and do a three minute Feeling Overwhelmed meditation before I lost my shit completely, followed by a large gin.
I’m one of those people that HATES letting people down, it makes me incredibly anxious not to get my work in on time.
I am NEVER late with deadlines which is why I find this sort of thing upsetting. Aside: there was some cock-up with my Final Draft software this week which meant that I handed in an earlier draft of a script that wasn’t properly formatted AND with a scene missing. I am still reeling from the shame of it.
“What is the universe trying to teach me?” is something I always ask – which usually elicits massive eye-rolling and sniggers from the rest of the family. But it’s the way my brain is wired. And it really didn’t take a genius to work out the lesson here.
I am not in control.
None of us are.
All we can control is how we respond to situations.
Hasn’t that just been one of the hardest things to deal with in this pandemic? We don’t know if we will get sick, we don’t know how long it’s going to last, we don’t know if our businesses will survive, we don’t know if we – and those we love – will survive. We can’t see our families. We don’t know if alcohol will be banned again.
WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING.
And we have to deal with all of this whilst coping with Covid weight gain and adult acne from our masks.
I definitely have the adult acne but I took my eating in hand and have managed to lose weight during the pandemic and I’ve done it through quite an extreme version of intermittent fasting which works for me. I had to do something because after those first weeks of Lockdown in April where we couldn’t even walk outside, I got so porky I couldn’t fit into any of my clothes. Seriously. Not even my leggings. Plus I do have a tendency towards high cholesterol so I thought I’d better make a plan.
We know that losing weight is 80% dieting and 20% exercise (yes, I plucked those figures from the air) so I had to find a way to cut calories – but something I could stick to. So, I settled on this diet where I basically have a cappuccino in the morning, then at 11ish I’ll have some fruit, sometimes some cheese and then I eat dinner. That’s it. Along with lots of water. I lost two kilos in the first couple of weeks and since then I’ve lost a kilo a month. I’m now 6.5 kilos down and I want to lose another three to four. I won’t lose too much, I am at that choose-between-your-ass-and-your-face age, but it is lovely being able to fit into my clothes again.
It’s Halloween next weekend.
We go quite big in our neighbourhood and usually have a big do in the local park. This year it’s not happening because of that bloody killjoy Auntie Rona, so there are going to be lots of street parties and groups of kids trick or treating WHICH I LOVE. And don’t @ me about how Halloween is a lame American holiday or the Devil’s work because:
- I am half-Irish and we definitely celebrate Halloween
- I am Catholic and we remember our dead at this time
- I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. If there’s something to celebrate, I’m there.
Our local dress-up shop in Tyrone Avenue in Parkview has a great selection of Halloween outfits (including WONDERFUL masks) and the fruit and veg store sells the proper Halloween pumpkins that you can carve but they are SUPER expensive.
The poor old husband has carved regular pumpkins in the past – don’t do it, people, it’s not fun. Cardies in Rosebank also stock Halloween stuff if you’re looking and I think Pick’n Pay do the pumpkins, Woolies used to, but I don’t think they do anymore.
Recommended TV for this week: I watched half of The Trial of the Chicago 7 on Netflix. (Yes, I can’t watch any movie that’s over two hours in one sitting, I’m afraid because I fall asleep.) I’m undecided about it. I like it but I’m not sure I LOVE it although I do love the director, Aaron Sorkin.
Recommended reads: after I read the Rob Lowe memoir, it was a no brainer that I would have to read the Demi Moore one. It’s worth a read just for the tea the girl spills about Bruce and Ashton. The things those people get up to. Mxm.
She also had an horrendous childhood, really felt for her. Do you find yourself reading something and then disappearing down a rabbit hole and having to read anything related to a book?
I do this with movies too, if it’s a biopic, I start researching the person while I’m watching the film. (Not at all irritating for the husband who has to listen to everything I find out.)
I also finished Kololo Hill by Neema Shah.
It’s the one about the Ugandan Asians having 90 days to get the hell out of Uganda and then having to start over in the UK. I related to it on so many levels, found it so evocative, the descriptions of the food, the red earth, the looming sense of danger, the sadness of having to leave the place they knew as home. Really got to me. Look out for it next year.
On the thriller front, I’m busy reading Let Me Lie by Claire Mackintosh. Total page-turner. Am gobbling it up. I was also sent a press release about No Be from Hia written by Natasha Omokhodion-Kalulu Banda which intrigued me. Natasha lives in Lusaka where my beloved godson lives with his wife and my adorable great niece and nephew, and the novel is set between there and Lagos. Published by Blackbird Books (who are just going from strength to strength), the cover is STUNNING and I can’t wait to read it.
That’s it for this week. My message to you – and this is especially for the kids writing exams and the parents of the kids writing exams and our poor bloody teachers – be kind to yourselves. We ARE living through a pandemic. My love to you all xxx