Things I find erotic:

Seeing it is the month of lurrrrrve, I thought I’d sex things up a bit and talk about the ten things I find most erotic:

    • Solar panels – lots and lots and LOTS of lovely solar panels with a big, BIG battery. Mmmmm…makes my knees go weak.
    • A gas generator as a back-up
    • Water tanks
    • A grey water system
    • In the naughty but nice category – a borehole
    Solar Panels

    Apparently, boreholes are naughty because they lower the water table or something. I have no idea if this is indeed true and I still fantasise about a long, long, LONG…borehole.

    • A great security system
    • A bullet proof car (maybe with like flame throwers on the side for people who really piss me off. I dunno)
    • Puncture proof tyres for potholes
    • A tank of petrol
    • Books. Always books.

    My family gets thoroughly irritated with me because books are always on my present list for every occasion:

    Husband *gazing around in wonder at the piles of books scattered around the house and the stuffed bookshelves*: Do you really need more books? I mean really? Have you read all of these? Have you?

    Me *lies*: Why, yes. Yes, I have.

    Husband *clearly doesn’t believe me*: Mmm.

    Me *sanctimoniously*: AND it’s part of my job. I have to read.

    Books do make me happy. Nothing compares to the bliss of reading a book by one of my favourite authors. Nothing except for perhaps a great movie or TV series. Talking of, we went to see the Banshees of Inisherin on Saturday at fave spot, Cinema Nouveau at Rosebank Mall. Wow, wow, WOW!!

    Set at the end of the Civil War on an island off the coast of Ireland, this filum just blew my mind. It has such a simple premise: two men are friends, the one decides one day he doesn’t want to be friends with the other dude anymore and takes extreme measures to make sure my guy, Padraic (pronounced Porrick) stays away from him.

    The Banshees

    The HUMOUR. There is a scene about midway through in a confessional that literally had me snorting my coffee and I don’t think you have to be Irish or raised Catholic to appreciate it. That’s the other thing, the film is set in 1923, the year of my father’s birth in County Waterford and it gave me such insight into the time he was born into.

    (Which is great because it’s a bit late to ask him about any of this stuff as he’s been dead for 20 years. But it did make us think we need to have a party for his 100th birthday this year.)

    The TRAGEDY. God, what happens in the movie is so heart-breaking, I don’t want to give it away. But wear your waterproof mascara and take some tissues if you don’t want to be sniffing throughout the movie or wiping your nose on your sleeve.

    The PERFORMANCES. I have no words. Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Kerry Condon, Barry Keoghan, the policeman, the priest, the lads in the pub, the woman at the store, the old crone, OMG, the old crone! All sublime.

    The SCRIPT!! THE DIRECTION! THE CINEMATOGRAPHY! Just brilliant, brilliant storytelling. Writer and director, Martin McDonagh take a bow, your filum deserves all the Oscars.

    Go and see it.

    As we were walking out after the movie, the husband commented: “So many old people at the cinema.”

    Me: Babe, that’s us, we are those old people.


    In bookish news, we had another planning meeting for the Kingsmead Book Fair, there are soooooo many lovely authors, clearly EVERYONE has written a book during lockdown, but we only have one day so it’s quite difficult trying to squeeze everyone in. That being said, I think it’s shaping up to be a pretty exciting program so please Save The Date. It’s happening on Saturday, May 27.

    KBF Meeting
    KBF Meeting

    And speaking of bookish events, I was approached by fave, Lolo AKA Lorraine Sithole to take part in The Johannesburg Festival of Women Writers this weekend at the Johannesburg Business School in Auckland Park (see poster for deets.) I am on this scarily clever panel:

    10h00 – 11h15: Trends in, and vision for contemporary writing in South Africa

    Moderator: Dr Danyela Demir

    Panelists: Fiona Snyckers, Pamela Power, Pumza Shabangu, Yewande Omotoso

    Let’s hope I don’t make a complete tit of myself.

    Do join us. It’s free, all you need to do is register.

    FYI, Yewande Omotoso’s book An Unusual Grief has been longlisted for The Dublin Literary Prize. Fingers and all body parts crossed that she wins.

    Joburg Festival Writers
    The Unusual Grief

    Oh lord, I nearly forgot to mention that it was the cover and title reveal of my #sobercurious memoir on Monday. It’s called My Year of Not Getting Sh*tfaced and the cover was designed by the very talented and award-winning artist and author, Minky Stapleton. It was through Minky’s encouragement that I ended up getting published originally, she also designed the covers for my earlier novels, Ms Conception and Delilah Now Trending. I am completely in lurrrrrve with my new cover.

    My Year of Not Getting Shtfaced
    My Year of Not Getting Sh*tfaced

    The book comes out on March 7th, and you definitely need to buy it cause varsity fees ain’t cheap plus I have a book habit to support.

    Aside: the husband is not enjoying Dry February very much and was saying perhaps we should just have a dry week as this month business is QUITE LONG.

    Aside 2: for all those inquiring after the Lastborn, this was her message to us last weekend:

    “Soz, but you have lost me to Cape Town.”

    My response:

    Our real children
    Our real children

    That’s it for this week. Happy Valentine’s Day and if you don’t have a valentine, how about celebrating Galentine’s Day on the 13th when you can get together with your favourite girlfriends? Also, don’t forget that signed books really do make the best gifts and unsigned ones are also good. Happy reading xxx